'Memoirs of a Gay Sheila'

Or a suitably Antipodean title like that

Just as well none of you are actually paying for my missives here on Substack because months go by, and I don’t write a word. My malaise is likely due to a decade of weekly deadlines as a columnist. Not having to write has been a luxury.

But I’m getting mighty bored with not writing. Not least because my girlfriend - how do I put this - endlessly nags me to write. She naively thinks I’m good at it, and that I have something unique to say. It doesn’t matter how many times I point out that every talking head is at it these days, and how my voice would just be adding to the rabble, she gently persists in the hope I will change my mind.

Despite 23 years of co-habitation, she hasn’t fully absorbed the fact that I only do something when I want to do it. Not when you tell me to do it. You know, apart from the things that must be done like household chores, feeding animals, and personal hygiene.

I doubt anybody following me on here is unaware of my 2018 ‘cancellation’ (for THAT column) by media, mainly left-wing politicians, and definitely the TQ part of the alphabet rainbow soup. Even some of the LGBs - mainly paid passengers on the trans financial gravy train - got in on the act. It was depressing.

When the New Zealand Herald started censoring any discussion around how trans issues were affecting women’s rights, I chose to walk. I cancelled myself. Who wants an opinion gig when you can’t speak about certain things? Not me.

As I was one of the first cabs off the rank, the trans activists came gunning for me. Literally.

They duped the NZ Police into believing a satirical tweet was a death threat. The cops removed my firearms, and I was forced to prove I was worthy of keeping them - which I did with the help of a legal team and mucho $$$. It was sheer woke mischief-making, and the captured NZ Police fell for it.

I was also ‘disappeared’ from a documentary about dairy farming called ‘Milked’. The film makers hounded me for months to appear in it, so I eventually agreed. When they found out later about my views, I was simply cut out of the film - like I never existed. Good times!

Again, before my gender critical views were known, I was chased around by publishers looking for first dibs on the book I was writing. Afterwards, the very same chasers told me they’d never publish anything I’d ever written - that I was “tainted” or “too hot” to touch.

I mean you’re either a good writer or you’re not, right? Wrong.

But here’s the thing. I’m ecstatic now about having been cut out of the ‘Milked’ doco (it’s terrible, by the way), and the woke book publishers can go and rotate on their semi-colons to their heart’s content.

As the global ‘wrong think’ cancellation train rumbles steadily along on a parallel track, we can only hope the coal is running out. My own feeling is that it is, but what a ride it’s been. Mine started earlier than most - it’s been five years now.

So, I’ll get to the point.

Nearly all writers dream of a deal with a traditional publishing house. I used to feel the same way. Anything less was failure. But I have come to learn that I want nothing to do with such poseurs until they re-learn that free speech is sacrosanct. I’m glad I never drank the trans cult Kool-Aid and kept schtum - as so many writers do. I’m not down with it. And never will be.

The 10 essays are vignettes of my life - basically how I became the difficult and unapologetic person you see before you today. If that feels like something you might enjoy, then it’ll come at a (small-ish) price.

If you couldn’t give a toss about my backstory - and who can blame you - you have the option of doing nothing by remaining a free subscriber and receiving the occasional post about something no doubt deep and meaningful. Or something as shallow as shit. Anything’s possible, but I’ll still be grateful your support.

In the meantime, think it through. I’ll likely charge in the $6-7 dollar range per month, and if you think you can swing that, I’d really appreciate your financial support for my essays. There are also one-off payment options.

I’ll be in touch about the final subscription price soon and, of course, you can cancel at any time. I expect all 10 essays to be delivered to your inbox every 6 weeks (or so) within twelve months from the first one arriving.

I hope you can join me!

(And that my girlfriend can see me once again as the person of substance I can be).